If I had to pick the worst of my flaws, I could honestly say it begins and ends with doubt. This isn’t to say that my other flaws are trivial, but this particular one has plagued me for as long as I can remember.
In the past, I have blogged about fear holding people back. That they might fail, or sometimes, the greater fear lies with success. That is a major factor in doubt, but it isn’t fear in the Paranormal Activity sort of way. It is the belief that my work isn’t good enough. I doubt often that I am a great enough writer to find a living in this industry, or that my stories aren’t creative or original enough. In some cases this might be true, but that arguing notion of doubt is what keeps me from growing as an author or as a person.
It grips me in fits of apathy, in mindless bouts of writers block, and in excessive procrastination. It is the reason why I have multiple short stories sitting idly in a folder, unedited and unsubmitted. It is why I look at the massive manuscript for Human Echoes, afraid to tear into its pages with a red pen and a clear mind.
As far as dealing with doubt, I have not found a clear way to get past it. I have proven my uncertainties wrong on numerous occasions, and prevailed when I believed I would falter. The fact that I have a manuscript to edit is a testament to this, but now I must find the resolve to keep going; to not squander these countless hours, and to seek out the conclusion to my own story.
I would like to apologize if any of this sounds cliché, but I needed an outlet to review the problem. Due to the public nature of this forum, it may not be the greatest venue, but I know I cannot be the only one that deals with doubt frequently.