Monday, February 28, 2011

Gamblin' Man

For a long time, I've posted about my writing goals, and about my 3rd degree black belt in procrastination that keeps me from meeting them. All this talk and such little action is making me sick. I'm tired of my own bullshit excuses, but without drastic measures, I'm not sure I'll be able to meet my own semi lofty goals.

Today, I signed a writing contract. In it, I will have to write 27,000 words over the course of March, or I have to donate $200 dollars to my most hated terrorist group, PETA*.

I'm sure you have a few questions, so let me clear them up if I can.

The biggest reason is simple, my production this year has been unacceptable. I haven't done enough real work to call myself a serious writer. I'm terrified of being labeled a fraud, or a dilettante. I want to be more than a hobbyist, I love it too much to treat it so idly. I love to write, but I need a little spark to put me in the chair.

Secondly, I am a terrible cheap ass. I'm not the type that will toss money around casually. On top of this, I would be donating to a cause that I hate. If I fail, I will be crippled financially for a month at the benefit of my enemies. The stakes are set.

Is it a gimmick? Yes. Will it work? It damn well better. Now, here are the rules.

  1. 27,000 words written from 12:01 am on March 1st until 11:59 pm on March 31st, 2011 (I'm taking sundays off, essentially its 1,000 words per day, six days a week).
  2. This can be in the form of short fiction, novels, and blog posts.
  3. Journaling, notes, and outlines do not count.
  4. I will appoint a referee to check the word counts, this way the final decision is out of my hands.
  5. If I fail, $200 dollars cash will be donated to the evil fuzziness that is PETA.
  6. My sister is currently managing this. She is awesome, but also brutal and has an affinity for fuzzy creatures. You know the type. She cries when that Sarah McLachlan commercial comes on.
I will post my progress each Wednesday. Lets see just how foolish this whole project is.

*Watch Penn and Teller's BULLSHIT! on PETA. I am an adamant omnivore, which is contrary to every policy ever put out by PETA. They are also big enough jerk offs to support arsonists from the Animal Liberation Front. Please note, I love animals, and grew up with many. I just enjoy eating some of them too. If only I were dextrous enough to blog and cook bacon at the same time.

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