Monday, July 16, 2012

Summer Under my Bootheel


History is filled with the sound of silken slippers going downstairs and wooden shoes coming up.”
    - Voltaire

For 25 years I have lived in a perpetual state of half assing. This despicable malaise has cost me dearly. I've missed out on countless opportunities, and chosen the safe road at nearly every turn. I've donned the slippers of an easy life. This might be enough for most people, but I've got shit to do, damnit.

This isn't just about being a writer anymore, or even working to get by. It's about fulfilling the potential I know I have. I've chosen a path that takes more sacrifice than I thought I was capable of, and through it, the inertia is building. This summer has been a flurry of classes and homework, of short stories and writing. I have learned that no matter how much I fear that my toils are without merit, I can still push forward. I can still make a fucking impact.

I'm not going to lie here. I know I'm a shit writer. I'm a middling computer tech. I used to be a C- level student. I might still be, after all, there are a few weeks left in the semester. What's more important than all of this is that I've strapped on the work boots, and I'm putting in the time. I have results coming in, and for the first time in my life, they feel stronger than dismal. I'm moving from basement dweller to apprentice, and someday onward to journeyman.

I've started to snuff out the weaknesses in my character, and am determined to move forward. I don't have the luxury of time. None of us really do when it comes down to it. It's time to move the fuck on, and ascend to what I know I can be.

5 comments:

  1. Right on, I hear you. We sometimes need to give ourselves a kick to move on.

    Thanks for sharing you thoughts man. Home you've not started seeing endless lines of chemical formulas!! :-D

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks man. It's been a quick summer from all of this. How's the kid doing?

      Delete
    2. Adrian is doing fantastic. He's growing. The highest natural high I've ever had bro! :-D

      Delete
  2. Always randomly lurk your blog at work, but this post finally made me comment. I enjoy reading your work, it flows extremely well. Kick life in the teeth.

    Regards,
    Braden J.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Braden. It means a lot to hear that.

      Delete

 
Web Statistics