Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Weird Wednesday #9 - Roller Coaster of Love

There is a roller coaster in the Denver Six Flags amusement park that I have ridden at least 40 times, and probably more. Each time I thoroughly enjoyed myself, but never once did I ever consider it to be more than a metal and steel mechanical object.

Mid Coitus. NSFW.
In an odd twist of psych fuckery, a young woman by the name of Amy Wolfe has done that. Her sweetest love happens to be a gondola ride by the name of 1001 Nachts. In a quote directly from Miss Wolfe (and soon to be Mrs. Webber, after the manufacturer), she stated that “I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we will be together forever.”

Sadly, the statistics on roller coaster divorce rates are unavailable at this time.

I know it may sound like I am being cruel or having fun at the expense of others, but this brings up a topic that I have always found fascinating. Anthropomorphism is the act of giving human characteristics to inhuman objects. I know I’ve done it with computer systems in the past, referring to it like it is a person and not circuit boards in an aluminum shell. I’d be willing to wager that most people have, even if it is just with a pet. Hell, I can’t seem to get rid of my truck, and have often said I love the damn thing, even with its massive drinking problem.

Really though, the line between liking the utility of an object and wanting to marry it is pretty fucking broad though. With the exception of vibrators, I can in no way see how marrying an inanimate object will turn out well. Like all love, eventually batteries fade too.

Now, lets all take a ride on the comment gondola and dangle your thoughts below. Should we start a campaign for free hot coaster love? Or just an indie go go for psychiatric help?

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